/ Tuesday, March 21, 2006

just do i realised my money has wings and it can fly..
for the past few days that i hav been out..i hav already spent more than 300 bucks..
but i cant really recall wher al the money goes...so no point asking wher has the money gone...
shop, play, eat,shop,play,eat and booommmmm...the money is gone....
the one whole month of working and its gone in less than a week...
i really take my hat off for my way of spendin money...
i know im not earning enough at the place that im working now..
should i take up the offer that one of my customer offer??
its quite attractive..and definately i can earn more...
but the timing is just not right!!!i cant take off anytime i want cos i got to work full time...
that something that i dun really like...
hmm....i seriously need to think bout it..
whn i need a job none came...and whn i dun ned one...it just pop out and confused my life....!!!

no matter how much i tried convince myself that its ok...that it wont matter much, and it wun affect me much if i dont make it through...
but yet the temptation of wanting is really strong...
i swear i never wanted anything more than this...
i hav been waiting for the past 18 years of my life...and now im stil waiting...
i hav never felt so insecure..for i usually get wat i want...but for this, the confidence is not there..

sometime i just wonder if i made the right choice...to just follow my heart and do wat i want..
at my own will...to ignore wat my parents tell me to...going against them..
thou there never tell me that they are displease with me before...
but i know they want me back studying...to do the normal things one wil do at the age of 19...
instead of plannin for many dive trips, to make them worry for me whn im out at sea...
to work and earn money that is hardly enough for me...
but i dun want to regret later...i know im not being a good child for that..
and they are kind enough to tolerate my nonsenses...
i just felt that im at a bottom pit..and those around me are al climbing higher and higher..
and im stil at the very bottom..doin nothing bout it..
taking my own sweet time...
can someone tell me wat should i do now????????????????????????????????????????

/ Tuesday, March 21, 2006

just do i realised my money has wings and it can fly..
for the past few days that i hav been out..i hav already spent more than 300 bucks..
but i cant really recall wher al the money goes...so no point asking wher has the money gone...
shop, play, eat,shop,play,eat and booommmmm...the money is gone....
the one whole month of working and its gone in less than a week...
i really take my hat off for my way of spendin money...
i know im not earning enough at the place that im working now..
should i take up the offer that one of my customer offer??
its quite attractive..and definately i can earn more...
but the timing is just not right!!!i cant take off anytime i want cos i got to work full time...
that something that i dun really like...
hmm....i seriously need to think bout it..
whn i need a job none came...and whn i dun ned one...it just pop out and confused my life....!!!

no matter how much i tried convince myself that its ok...that it wont matter much, and it wun affect me much if i dont make it through...
but yet the temptation of wanting is really strong...
i swear i never wanted anything more than this...
i hav been waiting for the past 18 years of my life...and now im stil waiting...
i hav never felt so insecure..for i usually get wat i want...but for this, the confidence is not there..

sometime i just wonder if i made the right choice...to just follow my heart and do wat i want..
at my own will...to ignore wat my parents tell me to...going against them..
thou there never tell me that they are displease with me before...
but i know they want me back studying...to do the normal things one wil do at the age of 19...
instead of plannin for many dive trips, to make them worry for me whn im out at sea...
to work and earn money that is hardly enough for me...
but i dun want to regret later...i know im not being a good child for that..
and they are kind enough to tolerate my nonsenses...
i just felt that im at a bottom pit..and those around me are al climbing higher and higher..
and im stil at the very bottom..doin nothing bout it..
taking my own sweet time...
can someone tell me wat should i do now????????????????????????????????????????